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Amy Schumer: Tales from the Toilet

Amy Schumer, a fresh new mom with a shiny new baby, and fresh on the heels of the glowing Duchess of Sussex’s post-birth photo ops. Arguably, two very different thrones, but Amy’s is the one I identify with. 

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Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with EITHER of these post-birth sip and see’s (let’s be honest, I’ve usually got a glass of wine in hand as I scroll my evening social media feeds) or how celebrities, or normal women like you and I for that matter, choose to document the stages of their procreation. But there was just something SO REAL about seeing Amy perched on that hospital commode, feet firmly planted at 10 and 2, while in the foreground her sister-in-law Molly Fischer was on baby duty. 

Her face speaks VOLUMES. We’ve all made that face!

“I can’t believe I’m so swollen.”

“I’m terrified to poop.”

“How did Megsie hide the dang maxi pad under that trench?”

“Is the baby breathing?”

“I think I passed a clot. Was that a clot? THAT FELT HUGE. THAT LOOKS HUGE. OMG call the nurse!”

“It’s taking me forever to go to the bathroom and the pediatricians are here talking to MY HUSBAND. Must hurry, must hurry…”

“I can sleep on my stomach again…I’m so happy I could cry.”

“Someone FIND THE NURSE. I need more ice packs and pain relieving peri foam!”

She’s been keeping it real since day one. From the tired, make-up free photos, to candids from her experiences with hyperemesis gravidarum (god bless any of you that have endured that), and beautiful, body positive snaps of her changing figure as it grew life. As Amy’s Instagram caption evokes, she may not be looking fly in kitten heels and the perfect blow out 29.5 hours post blast off, but she’s still a Mom I‘ll Love For … keeping it real

 

 

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